Psychologist Kelly Flanagan wrote a paragraph I loved so much, I thought about framing it:
The third kind of marriage is not perfect, not even close. But a decision has been made, and two people have decided to love each other to the limit, and to sacrifice the most important thing of all—themselves. In these marriages, losing becomes a way of life, a competition to see who can listen to, care for, serve, forgive, and accept the other the most. The marriage becomes a competition to see who can change in ways that are most healing to the other, to see who can give of themselves in ways that most increase the dignity and strength of the other. These marriages form people who can be small and humble and merciful and loving and peaceful.
The entire article is worth a read, but that one piece, particularly that last sentence, is one of the most wonderful things I’ve read. And I feel so incredibly lucky, because that’s not just the kind of marriage I want. It’s the kind of marriage we have.
She makes me want to be small, humble, merciful, loving and peaceful.